Dance Teacher Lady

Yes, I have been on jury duty for what felt like an eternity, and now that it’s over I can share…

Day 1-

I report to the courthouse at 8:45am to sit in a room with equally cranky people who’s lives are disrupted. We sit for an hour before a judge comes in to welcome us and explains how important our role as jurors is, blah blah blah… He then asks if there is anyone who is happy to be here today and this woman raises her hand and says “I’m happy to be here!”. She’s the only one. Mind you, when this woman walked in the room, I thought to myself- ‘Oh god, I’m going to be put on a case with her’- she was clearly out of her head and wearing a fantastic caftan sort of thing with a giant hat and a ridiculous amount of make-up for Wednesday morning. She was a cross between Auntie Mame and Dolly Levi on a lot of medication. I then dubbed her “Crazy Lady”.

We finally turn in our juror cards and the selection process begins. At 11:00 or so, I get called in to a room with 19 other people. We get handed a form to fill out asking all kinds of questions: name, age, education, occupation… then as you get further it asks if you or a close friend or relative has ever been convicted of a crime, witnessed a crime, committed a crime, etc, etc, and I was able to honestly answer yes to ALL. I thought for sure that I would be excused for that. What I forgot was that this is New York City- EVERYONE has had these experiences.

Then the lawyers have their turn asking us questions. Can you be fair and impartial, what our opinions are on certain issues, especially pertaining to doctors and hospitals. Oh boy- a malpractice suit? No- it’s not malpractice… but they can’t really say much, of course.

Now it’s my turn. ‘Ms. Murray- your form says that you have many jobs. You are a dancer, teacher, choreographer, you own your own business, and you are still able to serve on jury duty’? To which I responded: ‘Apparently so’.

That was it.

Lawyer #2 then goes around the room and asks if any of us has had an issue with a doctor, hospital, or anything medical. I said no- which I realized in that moment was stupid. Now, Crazy Lady was one of the people in the room and after the lawyer asked the question, she raised her hand and said:’I forgot to mention that when I was in the hospital and had (some procedure that I don’t remember) taken out, I asked the doctor if I could eat seeds. The doctor said that yes, I could eat seeds if I wanted to. Well, when I went home and ate seeds, my colon exploded’.

HER COLON EXPLODED? Well, I was the only one in the room who thought that statement was funny and I started laughing. Everyone else was silent which made it funnier to me.

Once I calmed down, the lawyers left the room and a while later the clerk came in and said that if our name was called we have been selected for this jury. My name was called. Crazy Lady’s was not. Hmmm, I wonder why?

And then there were eight.

Stay tuned for the next installment of “Jury Duty- the saga”